What Even is an Affirmation and Why Bother

An affirmation is a positive statement structured in a way that is meant to invoke a positive emotion. Its entire purpose is to create a new belief in your subconscious through repetition and emotional connection to the idea.

The reason why this matters is because thoughts really do become experiences or things over time. Your thoughts are the things that trigger the release of chemicals (which create hormones, which lead to emotions/feelings). Then, the thought and emotion feed off of each other and create more of the same essence (more thoughts/feelings of that initial nature). This process is influenced by the amount and intensity of attention you place on a certain thought or experience. 

But how does all of this translate into physical or material events? Because, believe it or not, your reality is an extension OF you. Your habitual thoughts/emotions (which exist in your powerful subconscious mind) create a signature essence if you will, that is unique to you. That ‘essence’ or frequency you emit communicates with the external environment on a very subconscious level. This draws certain experiences, types of people, events, and similar thought forms to you. 

Using affirmations is the process that helps you shift your focus onto what you want to experience when life may not be going in your favor (thanks to outdated subconscious programming!) or maybe when you are desiring a specific type of experience. It's basically conscious thought and belief creation which is normally a subconscious, reactionary process. It’s the practice of creating the narrative for your life on your terms, not in default mode – which you picked up between ages 0-10ish. If I kept with my default mode, I’d still be in an unfulfilling marriage working my corporate, soul-sucking job that made death look like a much-needed vacation.

The Affirmation Bridge from Failure to Independence

There are many ways to achieve what you came here to achieve but this one becomes pretty second nature once you get the hang of it. After all, we’re thinking thousands of thoughts a day anyway, so why not do it with intention? Why not think in the direction of the life we long to experience? If we only think based on our present experience, we tend to hold ourselves back from the possibilities that are just out of sight. 

For example, when I was given a 30-day eviction notice at my rental where I lived with a lying ex if I only chose to think based on that experience, I would have quickly found myself in a worse situation. When my mind goes dark, it goes dark…However, I decided to use conscious thought or affirmations to change how I perceived that experience to make it work for me. Did you know that you could do that?? I didn’t until I did it! 

Instead of thinking thoughts like –

“I’ll never meet a good partner that wants to be with me” 

or 

“I’m a broke, jobless, dependent person with nothing to offer the world and no way to take care of myself” (although they did show up first, I had to feel my way to the other side!) 

I trained my mind to choose thoughts like –

“How is this helping me get to my goals” 

or “This is happening FOR me so I can release toxic energy and focus on the good I offer” 

or “What blessings can come from this experience; how good can it get if I choose to trust” 

or “I trust that this experience will open powerful doors for me.”

Here's what happened –

→ Thanks to those thoughts, I felt empowered to sit with my heartbreak and fear. 

→ I felt strong enough to overcome anything! 

→ I ended up working out an arrangement that gave me the independence I had been CRAVING FOR YEARS!! 

→ I solved my financial issues, discovered clarity in my career direction, and got into my own home that no one could just take away from me out of spite. (Which was a theme in my life) 

But let’s FINALLY dive into why affirmations didn’t work for me and why they’re not working for you. The clues on how to make them work lie in that awareness.

7 Reasons Affirmations Aren’t Working for You (posed as questions)

1 - Are you feeling impatient? Are you being consistent?

Impatience is a clear indicator that your focus is everywhere but the present moment. The reality is, we can’t fully experience (mind body soul) any moment beyond this present moment experience. Sure, we can remember, or daydream, but we are firmly planted right where our feet are. In other words, you can’t create your dreams with the full potency of your power if you’re too busy being impatient that it’s not here. In those moments, we’re generating thoughts that conflict with what we’re attempting to create.

This is your opportunity to face the feelings you are avoiding in the here and now. By fully embracing them and feeling them, you’ll be more ready to accept where you are so that changes can take place.

2 - Are you worried ‘it’ won’t happen in a specific way you think it should or look a specific way you think it should?

I still struggle with this mindset as it relates to my ideal partner. It’s something I feel myself slowly surrendering to make space for what the universe sees for me. It’s helpful to understand that we are here with a limited perspective. We only see reality through the lens of our beliefs, past experiences, fears, goals, etc. There is a greater aspect of us (our intuition, Source, God, Spirit – whatever word resonates with you) that is expressing itself through us. It has a much higher perspective than we’ll ever have in this human experience. So opening up a dialogue between you and your idea of non-physical support is helpful with this.

It’s also helpful to know that we are made up of over 99.99999% space (energy and information). We’re not even material beings at the core of it all. The way we understand the material world is very limited but some new science is diving deep into deeper ideas about what all of this is.

3 - Do you have a baseline understanding of how conscious creation works? (That is what you’re attempting to do; you want your life to feel a certain way so you’re taking steps to have more control over the process)

I invite you to open your journal (if you aren’t already there answering these questions) and dedicate a page to brain-dumping your idea of what it means to manifest.

Then, compare it to this simple breakdown:

Thought + Emotion + Behavior = State of Being = Determines what you attract and how = Your physical reality/experience. This is all subconscious. The subconscious controls 95% of what we think, feel, and do. So affirmations or conscious thought creation helps guide your emotions, which leads to changing behavior. Behavior is a product of your habitual thoughts and emotions. That’s why it can feel so hard to do something new. Your energy is pumping the breaks on you because the conscious will isn’t quite yet aligned with the subconscious program. Don’t worry though! I have a step-by-step method to solve this problem at the end of this article.

4 - Are you feeling a ton of inner conflict/resistance when saying or imagining the contents of your affirmations?

This plays into what we just discussed in #3. This is just a misalignment between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. Fixable with complete dedication and consistent effort.

5 - How clear and connected are you to your why behind the desire?

Bring to mind that goal. What’s the feeling driving it? Yes, you want more money because it’s the obvious solution to your physical woes but let’s go deeper. How does it feel when you imagine all of those problems being solved? What’s left over? What does your life feel like then?

A hint from someone who has desperately attempted to manifest the dollar – you don’t want to manifest money to solve your problems. That’s your ego’s answer. Your spirit is whispering to you deep down that there’s more to life than the struggle. Your physical lack is a symptom of an intrinsic sense of lack. Your soul wants a deeper connection and harmony with life itself. Your soul wants to flow with life from a place of peace and trust. But on a more mundane level, when you remove all the weight of your problems, you’re left with the ability to express yourself in ways that are authentic and genuine to you. That translates to abundance (or money/experiences) that feel so good to you! There are aspects of your current challenges that your Source understands in ways that you can’t yet, but one day will.

We want to enjoy every moment we can, not suffer and grit our teeth through it all. We want to have space and time to be our full selves. That’s what’s on the other side of lack – it’s a wondrous flow of energy that gives us a zest when caring for ourselves, our loved ones, doing the work we do, folding laundry, doing dishes, cooking, etc. (insert yours)

In my pursuit of money, I’ve gone from straight anxiety attacks about my income to full-on trust in whatever comes my way. That trust has only increased my income and opportunities. When I allowed my mind to linger in the feeling of absence, I only created more problems. But beyond all of that, I now enjoy all the things I used to loathe or feel that I didn’t have the energy for!! I enjoy working out (more often than not), I enjoy making my bed and putting away my clean laundry, and I enjoy all the small things I simply couldn’t do before. That is what I’m learning life is all about. And as I expand into this understanding, into this ability to fully receive life in all its challenging and magical glory, so too are my experiences and opportunities. 

6 - Are you at peace or understanding or accepting of your current circumstances?

Where you are now is a part of HOW you’ll get to where you want to be. You know that saying, “Everything you need is already within you?” Yeah, that’s beyond true. You already have all the raw materials you need to get to the next best step. What’s making that impossible to see or feel is what’s currently taking up that space. If you want abundance but you feel like you just can’t achieve growth in your life, lack is in the way of your abundance. You must accept how you currently feel with the understanding that by accepting it, you are putting down all the resistant thoughts that tell you where you are wrong. This moment is teaching you a valuable lesson that you will come to understand and benefit from once it’s overcome.

All the habitual thoughts about how life has let you down, how so and so hurt you, or how your job is horrible, etc, represent the raw materials you’ll use to create abundance (just as an example). Your job is to become aware of these negative thought forms and gently guide your focus in the direction of what’s possible. Again, I will make that easy for you at the very end of this article. You’re welcome 😉.

7 - How much attention and focus are you giving this potential outcome/desire vs. how much attention you’re giving your fears/worries/doubts?

You can answer this question by checking into how you feel. When you bring to mind an affirmation, “I am abundant,” (insert yours) how do you feel? Is there a pleasant response in your body or is there an unpleasant response? Don’t judge it, just observe it. If it feels unpleasant but you want to believe it’s true, that means your attention is divided. This goes back up to point 3. There is a divide between your programming (subconscious) and your conscious will.

How to Effectively Reprogram Your Subconscious with Affirmations

So, it’s not that affirmations don’t work or that they're a lie from the rich to keep you poor or stuck in your lackluster experience. You may have not been using them with the correct understanding, like myself. I hope this article has cleared up most of the confusion about how to make them work for you. And if any questions were inspired by what I’ve written, leave them in the comments! It’s something we can discuss to expand our understanding of how to create WITH life more and more.

As promised, I invite you to challenge your experience with conscious creation (manifesting) using affirmations, but this time, armed with the knowledge you now have. 

Here is a quick step-by-step on how to effectively reprogram your subconscious with affirmations in a way that changes things:

It’s exactly what I did and do when I have a bigggg challenge – ya know, like a looming eviction with no income or job or place to go. Yeah, I had to act swiftly and this is what I did to create a job for myself that worked for my energy and set me up to focus on my true passions. It also landed me a sweet apartment with ease so I could finally be independent.

→ Slow down your brain waves with deep breathing or meditation

Essentially you want to put your body (which is your subconscious) to sleep while keeping your mind awake. You’re aiming for that feeling where you’re about to doze off. You can achieve this by doing a body scan and deep breathing.

→ Bring to mind an affirmation of your choosing

Start with something that isn’t packed full of resistance if you are just starting with this process. Choose something like, “I know that life can support me if I allow it to.” Or you can take an even gentler approach and shape it into a question: “What if life is supporting me?” Your brain will automatically seek an answer. Simply notice what comes up in feelings, thoughts, or images.

→ Stay present and fully feel any emotions that come to the surface

If there is an uncomfortable/unpleasant emotion, really allow it to be there while in this state of mind. Feel fully. Cry if you need to. If it’s a pleasant feeling, simply notice how it feels and enjoy it. Memorize it because that’s exactly what you’re going for!! The more you feel the good feelings that follow those good thoughts (especially while your body is asleep), the more your subconscious will memorize the experience and begin to create it automatically. 

I remember shaking with tears streaming when going through this process. I remember wanting to stop but I kept asking myself, “What’s on the other side of this pain?” It’s fucking liberation no drug or material experience will ever be able to give you. Dr. Joe Dispenza refers to this as ‘sitting in the fire’. I do this even when struggling emotionally. When my 3 year relationship ended with the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, boy oh boy did I have to sit in that fire. But it’s made the healing so much more effective and quick.

→ Visualize a scene of your life that matches that affirmation

If you are attempting to replace your lack mindset with an abundant mindset, you may visualize a moment where you are sitting around a nice meal you wouldn’t normally have. Or you may see yourself at that high-class restaurant on a date with your favorite person. Also, repeat the previous step as often as needed. By fully feeling any resistant emotions, we give them space to move on out and through our system. It’s our avoidance of them that causes them to linger and create dis-ease within us on autopilot.

→ Gradually come back into your now and repeat the process daily

Things won’t change suddenly. But what will happen if you’ve truly FELT the emotion of that affirmation or idea in your subconscious, you’ll gradually start to experience synchronicity. That’s just a fancy way of saying you are aligning your energy with the flow of life and life is showing that to you in matching/repeating numbers, seeing what you want happening to others around you or in media, or you may start to get inspired with new ideas or new energy you didn’t have before. It starts small but builds momentum with your consistent, genuine efforts.

This is also where I used to sabotage myself. I’d see something I wanted in the hands of another and would take that as a dig from the universe — like HAHA you’ll never get what you want🤡!! But really, it’s the material world responding to you in the way you’re receptive to at the moment. That’s why consistency is soooo essential. You have to BECOME the energy you want to experience. From the words of one Neville Goddard, “Signs do not precede manifestation, they follow.” So if you’re seeing what you’re meditating on happening around you on TV or to your friends or on socials, take that as a sign that YOU HAVE BEEN HEARD and it is only a matter of WHEN, not if.

Be patient!! Remember, impatience is a sign your attention has slipped into a state of distrust and emotional separation from your new truth (the affirmation you’re turning into a belief/program).

Homework: Share an affirmation you've struggled with (or even an idea) in the community so I can show up to support you and help you activate it FULLY!